Fan Mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Jackie,


You don’t know me. I listen to your podcast everyday over and over again. We are friends on myspace and facebook too where I watch your clips several times a day. I had an accident when watching Babies First for the first time. I had just cooked myself up some Shrimp Scampi, I am a great cook by the way, and I was eating and watching...eating and watching when I threw it all up! you made me laugh that hard luckily my dog, Mr.Gingerberry ate it all right up. I was going to stop him but what was the alternative? Me having to get out the mop and bucket that's right jackie. I hate housework specially when it has to do with vomit. It was to bad because the scampi was so good I would have liked to have digest it. Oh Jackie don't blame yourself I still enjoyed it and look at it this way Mr.Gingerberry got himself a treat. Really it is ok. I am not mad at you anymore. I like to look at the bright side of things. Take for example I had a crush on this girl once she will remain nameless she is a comic with good strong teeth that is all I will say. Anyway I emailed her and myspace friended her. I went to every show I could. Jackie I live in Detroit this girl was in LA it was not easy to get to ALL of her shows. Anyway I was at the 54th show of hers in a row. We where in Missouri, I went to the ladies room they where out of TP( toilet paper). She was having a beer or something whatever the hell it was. I went up and said hey just to let you know the powder room is out of toilet paper. Well she made a very weird face then did NOTHING about it!!!! Can you believe it. After that my attention turned to you. I saw you on a super famous comics myspace page and I know you are way not famous so i thought you would be much more appreciative of my being an extremely devoted fan. I have some pointers too jackie like the way you talk. It is weird and I do not really like it. You are very awkard on stage too. Although I have yet to see you in person. I will soon though!!!! That was my big surprise i was saving for the end of this letter. I am coming to one of your shows Jackie!!!!!! I am not telling you which one but I will tell you this much it is going to cost me over a thousand in travel and expenses so I hope you are better then in your clips. You should have a voice coach. I HAVE BIG FISH TO FRY JACKIE AND I TEND TO OVER COOK THEM. BUT NOT MY SCAMPI IT IS ALDENTA!! ALDENTA I SAY!!!!! Do you think maybe I can stay with you or can you pay for my renta car? It is really the least you could do. I am probably the only one listening to that podcast. Actually I would love to stay at your house and have you rent me a car. That would really be a decent gesture Jackie... hey that should be your new stage name gesture Jackie!! I like it. I am going to give you great pointers such as that ALL the time just you wait Gesture Jackie. If you do not change your myspace name to this ASAP( as soon as possible) I will not make you that scampi and my feelings will be crushed like that other comic with the strong teeth’s career after that horrible car accident following that 54th show in a row I went to. Anyway the bright side to that fiasco is if the girl comic who once had the really strong teeth had gotten me the TP or at the very least had told a waitress, bartender, anyone about the lack of it in the powder room I would not have found you!! And I am glad I did Gesture Jackie and I know you are too. I am counting the seconds til I meet you. You better be better on stage there is nothing worse then a lady comic with not so great teeth, awkward stage presence and a weird voice. Luckily you have me to save you Gesture Jackie NOW DONT just sit there change your myspace name now!!!!!

see you soon
hugs and smiles your one and only fan

PS- Spell Gesture with a J. Jesture Jackie. You will go by JJ!! You owe me big time!!!

Hey thanks for writing!!! I just want to say you must have seen the attached picture somewhere. I do want to let you know those are not my real teeth. They are joke teeth I used  in a sketch.  Thank you for taking the time to write.  

Cheers,

Jackie